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A Little Older

by Alexia Avina

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1.
Step in Line 04:11
Step in line With my eyes all the time on his back And my new bite has almost lapsed All that I have left unsung Am I alright or almost there? All that I am, all that I’m not Am I too bright, or almost there?
2.
Forgotten angle, forged by the same old All my life is a field I sow An earthly bind, in the weeds I get so Bored by the tower I’m not hoping for a savior I’m only sifting through what’s given An earthly bind or something bitter All my life is a field I sow Surrounded by the weeds I want more Bored by the hour I get lost and forget to tell my mother that I love her I’m only sifting through what’s given
3.
I Am Opening 08:38
I am opening Like a flower’s heart As you’re standing there And I think I might be someone you want Or a softer thought I am opening And I welcome it Like the summer rain, or a sudden breeze Yeah, I am listening to the meadow lark A world that’s whispering through my shadow’s arc I am opening Like a flower’s song And I see you there And I think you might be someone I trust Or a softer thought
4.
On the Path 04:27
On the path I flow forward then back again I am offering all my in between Out on the blackest lake I’m floating among The skins I have loved in On the path We walk homeward and laugh I dreamt of knowing the difference in seeing trust in a feeling Out in the darkness
5.
I don’t know the way things grow When the seed is thrown and the wait is slow Should I feel older? A gaping hole How could I feel more than a hazy glow? I don’t know, but I’m waking slow How could I feel more than a hazy glow? Your voice is another field that flows
6.
Human 02:28
I go unnoticed, the fault of no one And you take it all When you take it I fold I’m only human The crutch of feeling like someone And the looser it fits, I am told Lends a closer look into the space that holds me
7.
Trade this moment for a feeling I don’t think I will think straight for a while Forget all reason in this scheming head I am realizing the trials of falling It gets a little old doesn’t it? So I guess I’ll find the right words to say to you Do I have to realign every time? It gets a little old doesn’t it? And I get a little older with it
8.
Poison 02:46
Oh, my life flows out And I’m floating away When all this poison in me Flows the colors of envy Like an innocence I’ve worn into bitterness, a thorn Float again
9.
How did I learn, how did I learn the way? It’s not that I want innocence, I’m just facing all I’d forgotten was left And how can I learn the way to say no When all that we’ve shown is wider than feeling I’m mastering the waves of unfeeling erosion Something in the way he unbuttoned my shirt without asking How can I learn the way to show All that matters when I’ve barely grown I’m better than this but I’m battered Embarrassed by something I missed in the moment

about

the start of this record began somewhere back in 2018 while sitting on my friend's floor in small town germany, writing way things grow on a borrowed golden guitar. over the next year, these songs pieced together to form a whole; phases of my life, each informing the next, yet somehow circularly revolving around the same thread of questioning.. a deepening examination and interweaving of the existential aspects of love and music and being. what does it mean to feel small, to feel nothing, to feel everything? to skirt around the edge of true vulnerability unknowingly and yet somehow so consistently?

credits

released April 29, 2022

recorded by eric seguin at autoland, ryan severin at merlin's playhouse, and justin pizzoferatto at sonelab
guitar and keys on way things grow - alexia avina
bass & drums - ryan severin
synth - cedric noel
mixed & mastered by justin pizzoferrato
* track 9 - recorded by bernardo ochoa, additional guitar by tom criblez, drums by matti dunietz, mixed by alex desimine
artwork by isabella katarina

biggest thanks of all to ryan, i don't think i would have finished this record at all without you

~~
As always, the making of this album came out of my own pocket and is hardly earned back through album and streaming sales. If you appreciate what I do and feel inspired to, you can help me recoup those costs more directly at paypal.me/alexiaavina ~ <3

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Alexia Avina Queens, New York

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